By all stereotypical accounts, Ron Swanson is a"manly" man. He likes red meat, woodworking, and he laughs in the face of fear. Except for Tammy. And also Tammy. Ron is afraid of Tammys. Tammies? No, Tammys.
If you're obsessed with Parks and Recreation like I am, then you know the running bit of both of Ron's ex-wives being named Tammy — Tammy 1 and Tammy 2. Played by two legends, Patricia Clarkson and Megan Mullally, respectively, these reoccurring characters are comedy at its finest. And Ron hates both of them. A lot. When the Tammys are first mentioned, Ron explains...
On my death bed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.
And it's, quite frankly, well deserved. I may consider making the same "dying breath" promise. But which is Tammy is worse? Let's get into it....
Tammy 1
- She works for the IRS
- Ron says she "ruins people's lives" for a living
- She helped deliver Ron and started dating him when he was underage at 15
- The sight of her makes Ron sick
- She condescends and demeans literally (said like Chris Traeger) everyone
- She is a gold digger in the most literal sense of the word
- She is corrupt and fakes an audit
- Ron needs her permission to do anything
- Even Tammy 2 is scared of her
- She has power over Ron to make him change everything about himself:
Before
After
OK, onto the next...
Tammy 2
- She's a librarian
- Ron says that "she destroys all happiness"
- Ron and Tammy 2 have a very volatile relationship
- They fight a lot
- She turns Ron into a sex maniac
- She's manipulative
- She bribes Ron with sex
- Ron gets arrested (... and cornrows) because of her
- She is physically violent
- She doesn't wear underwear
The Verdict
While they are both the worst, I think this award goes to Tammy 1. At least with Tammy 2, Ron has some semblance of free will. And the fact that Tammy 2 is afraid of Tammy 1 seems like enough evidence to give the latter the crowning title.
Images: NBC