FMK: Kyle, Craig, Austen

I was watching @bravohistorian's Instagram Stories last night and was SHOCKED to hear her say that she'd marry Craig, Kill Austen, and F Kyle. Shocked. The right answer is obviously:

M: Kyle

F: Craig

K: Austen

Kyle, although there is current debt there, is going to be a stable partner. Loverboy has staying power beyond the show (unlike some bunkass crab pillows) and yes, he parties too much, but it feels like we're dealing with weekend blackouts, not a constant drinking problem. I'm not saying it's great, but I think it's preferable than always needing a drink. He's ambitious and actually smart, and we haven't seen too much problematic behavior, other than the cheating and the birthday stuffff.... well shit. Kyle's not perfect. But he's not as imperfect as....

Craig: I can maybe see how you'd marry Craig because you feel like you might be able to change him. Or that he'll change as he "grows up" (he's 33). But deep down -- and he told us this point blank -- he's a great liar. And liars gonna lie. I don't think his pillow business will survive once Southern Charm is over. Those things are novelty gifts for fans. They're not like, anything you'd truly want in your house. So in a couple years, I think his business will fail, his drinking will increase, and his lying will, too. Of course, a "successful business person" isn't a necessity in a spouse, but I worry about Craig's self esteem and what he'll do when it's low.

Austen: Definitely don't need to kill him, but maybe just let him live his life off-camera in Charleston, not bothering me or anyone I know. He can crab and sell beer. Bye wig!