Premium- Summer House -Austen Kroll Is A Cheap Muppet & Ciara, Girl, You Need To Get A Grip
After what feels like years we are finally getting a new episode of Summer House, and damn it, I missed them so much. I missed that McMansion, the late night Postmates deliveries, the over the top theme parties. So, when the episode picked up right where we left off – at Lindsay Hubbard's twisted fairytale 35th (with 28-year-old eggs) birthday par– I was like, grab your Coors Light a la Luke Gulbranson and let's fucking go! 🍻
Before we get into My Thoughts, I'd like to do a quick rating of everyone's costumes:
- Lindsay Hubbard: Birthday fairy sun goddess. It's unclear what she is, for sure, but I give her a 10/10 for the effort and the overall good chaotic vibes.
- Amanda Batula: Scary fairy elf with a dead eye. She gets a 6/10 because for someone so beautiful I found her hard to look at. The eyes reminded me of Flotsam and Jetsam in The Little Mermaid.
- Paige DeSorbo: Bambi from Upstate New York gets an 8/10, because ADORABLE. Nailed it.
- Danielle Olivera: Cinderella Mad Hatter Tea Party combo. For that, a 7/10. There was a commitment to it, but I have no idea what was happening.
-Kyle Cooke: Unicorn blow up suit gets a 2/10; it looked sweaty.
- Luke Gulbranson: Mad Hatter/Willy Wonka (aka Willy Winks as I like to call him)... 10/10. His commitment was unmatched, also scary and hot at the same time. Great job Lukey!
- Mya Allen: Tooth fairy cutie receives a 6/10. I love Mya but the dress looked like Party City. Still, 6/10.
- Andrea Denver: Aladdin's Italian brother, Alberto, coming in with a 3/10. No effort, just hot abs.
- Carl Radke: Prince Charming gets a 5/10. I'll allow it because I love my Carlito but it was boring and also, it looked hot and not as in "sexy," I mean it as in, "sweaty."
- Ciara Miller: A mermaid girls gets an 8/10; she's hot, the costume's hot, snaps all around.
- Austen Kroll: A dusty prince? One out of ten. Just no, pass, AZKABAN.