- Sexy Beasts -All Of The 'Sexy Beasts' Masks Ranked In Order Of Nightmare Fuel
Dating shows have a unique way of making viewers fear for humanity under the best of conditions, but Sexy Beasts might be the first to give me actual nightmares. Netflix's new series is basically The Dating Game meets The Masked Singer, but with next level prosthetics designed to be as jaw-dropping as possible. In each episode, four hot people (what, you didn't think a dating show would cast any mere normals now did you?) are transformed into animals, characters from The Wizard of Oz, and, on occasion, literal monsters.
The end result is impressive from an artistic standpoint. In an interview with The Los Angeles Times, Sexy Beasts' prosthetics director Kristyan Mallet revealed Netflix wanted the prosthetics to be super noticeable and attention-grabbing, which is the opposite of what her work usually calls for. As a result, the team got to go a bit wild with their designs. She explained the mad scientist-style creations are "meant to be seen, and they're meant to be ridiculously silly."
And some of them are indeed silly. But others... well, others will still be haunting my dreams when I'm old and gray and slowly transforming into the real life version of Sexy Beasts' troll. Because I would hate for others to be permanently scarred for life upon looking upon the Stone Man's moss-covered face, I've taken it upon myself to rank the Sexy Beasts masks from almost cute to total nightmare fuel. Seriously disturbing images ahead, ya'll.
It's basically impossible to make pandas look scary. They are the cutest of all the animals, that's just facts. And while this particular panda does look like it emerged from the uncanny valley, this mask isn't going to make me lose any sleep at night.
There's a lot of detail in all of the masks, but I would argue Leopard's head gear doesn't look all that different from something you would find at your local Halloween store. Plus that ear fluff looks too soft to make this kitty threatening.
Yes, Pixie's facial features are a bit pronounced, but she still looks like a sexy alien from Star Trek. Seriously, this look is a cosplayers' dream.
Are the teeth unsettling? For sure, but on the whole, the Beaver looks cuddly rather than menacing (and that feeling is only amplified when you hear his voice).
Here's where things start to take a turn. Wolf is another fluffy mask, which helps soften the look, but there's something about the detailing around the eyes that makes this one a bit unnerving. However, if you imagine he's a character in a life-action remake of The Fantastic Mr. Fox, it definitely makes the overall look more palatable.
It's the stitches that tips this mask over the edge for me. Those green stitches around Scarecrow's mouth turn a fun, goofy style into something straight out of a horror movie.
18. The Baboon
Why does his beard look like it's streaked with blood? (I mean it's probably because they insist on making these poor people drink wine while wearing a truly shocking amount of prosthetics, but still.)
Look, I grew up in the '90s, during which time Dinosaurs was a massive hit, so overall, this mask actually gives me some serious nostalgia. But I simply cannot abide by that beak.
Good news, Sweet Tooth, I found your mom! But no, seriously, why does it feel like this deer is going to pop out of my TV screen and murder me like she's the star of an animal version of The Ring?
Dolphins are supposed to be cute. This dolphin looks like a melted gray crayon spontaneously sprang to life and signed up for a dating show.
I don't know if it's the wattles or the disturbing imagery of a beak protruding from a human mouth, but everything about this mask makes me want to hide my face behind a pillow until Rooster is offscreen.
The giant horns, the massive nose ring, the way Bull's real eyes don't quite fit within the bounds of the eye holes... frankly, this mask is just all kinds of wrong.
If Hollywood doesn't see this and immediately put a horror movie about a woman with an owl face into production, then they're seriously missing out, because this is one of the scariest things I've seen all year.
His brain isn't really pulsating, but it certainly looks like it is thanks to those protruding veins. Overall, the nicest think I can say about this mask is it does indeed look like it belongs to an alien who has crash landed on Earth and is now plotting world domination.
This is not what a rhino is supposed to look like. Rhinos are magnificent creatures, not demons from the depths of Hell.
Speaking of demons, this devil has a lobster claw on her chin, and that's something I will never be able to unsee, Netflix.
8. Tin Man
Like the Scarecrow, Tin Man could have been cute if not for his lopped off nose, giant, hinged jaw, and overall "robot who has become sentient" vibes. Trust me, he may not look that scary in a still photo, but just wait until you see this mask in motion.
7. Praying Mantis
Praying Mantises aren't that fun to look at under the best of circumstances, so it's extra creepy to be confronted with a human one sporting two sets of eyes and mouth pinchers.
The horror is in the mouth, which appears to be slowly melting off of her face.
I'm offended on behalf of witches everywhere. They made this poor woman look like the Cryptkeeper, and I may never recover.
See that flap by her ear? That's skin dangling off of her face. I'm sure that wasn't distracting at all during the drinks portion of the speed date.
Troll's face looks exactly how I feel about this mask. Is the work admirably detailed? For sure, but it's also frightening to such a degree that I have no idea how this poor woman managed to not scream every time she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.
2. Stone Man
The giant head and cracked skull just wasn't enough for the makeup artists. They just had to go and add moss to the Stone Man too. Have they not seen Doctor Who? I spent 30 minutes willing myself not to blink.
For the rest of my days, my dreams will be haunted by this human-sized mouse and his bubblegum pink lips. While all of the masks on Sexy Beasts are at least a little bit unsettling, this rodent is the mouse king of nightmares.
The artistry on Sexy Beasts is seriously impressive, but if it's all the same to Netflix, I would rather future seasons come with some sort of warning label so others don't unfittingly spend the rest of their days haunted by visions of humans dressed as science experiments gone horribly wrong.
Netflix's 'Sexy Beasts' Dating Show Is Here To Haunt Your Dreams