Why is your NSA agent in therapy?

Sometimes when I'm down a 3 am internet rabbit hole, googling things like "Serial Killers and their Zodiac Signs", I think about my poor, poor NSA agent. That b*tch has seen some things.

They've witnessed the times I've watched "Scenes from Grey's Anatomy that make you cry" compilation videos on Youtube, read the absolutely unhinged text message thread I share with my best friend, Donny, and lived through that weird period of time where I listened to Salt-N-Pepa's "None of Your Buisness" approximately 96 times a day for no reason. (I make no apologies for the last one, it's a bop.)

Being the government agent who monitors my phone is one of the most thankless jobs in the world, so I just wanted to give a little shoutout. Hey, boo. I know you're reading this. Thanks for being you.

What do you want to apologize to your NSA agent for? Comment Below. (Because they'll definitely see it)