Now that I have seen the first promo for Riverdale Season 5, I'm thinking it might have been better if the gang had just let Mr. Honey cancel prom. After seven painful months sans our favorite teen murderers, the powers that be finally released the trailer for Riverdale's upcoming season, and prom night is not looking good for the core four.
Murder and creepy voyeur videos aside (we'll get to that in a minute), the biggest reveal in the trailer is that Veronica will absolutely find out about Archie and Betty's hook up — on prom night. "Something happened between Betty and Archie," Veronica says in the promo, still wearing her blue prom dress, tears streaming down her perfectly made up face. (And given that we see her dancing with Archie earlier, it only makes sense that she would learn the truth at prom.) The only thing that would make this tearful moment more painful would be if she was breaking the news to Jughead. Or, you know, if someone got murdered at prom. That would also be bad.
But there's also way more to the Season 5 promo than just prom night and relationship drama. There's also teases about the voyeur, and potential murders. Let's break it down the biggest clues in the trailer.
The Voyeur
While prom might just be a murder-free zone, it doesn't look like the big dance will be spared from an appearance by the voyeur. In one shot of the trailer, a voyeur video features the Betty, Veronica, Archie, Jughead, etc, masked creepers dancing around a unidentified figure tied to a chair in what looks like an Eyes Wide Shut-inspired prom.
Elsewhere in the promo, the voyeur also sends tapes of what appears to be a Betty mask knocking out a Jughead mask, a Veronica mask shooting an Archie mask in the head, and, finally, a Black Hood mask shooting another Archie mask at Pop's.
The Owl Mask
Thankfully, it also looks like Betty and Jughead are getting close to unmasking the voyeur. In one shot, they spot a man wearing an owl mask and a cape holding a camera, the red light flashing.
I truly have no idea what this means. (Why does the owl mask have a creepy, Joker-like smile? Also, where the hell are they?) Still, it's comforting to see that Bughead hasn't lost their detective skills. Unfortunately, it looks like their detective skills lead them to a dead body, which is not so great.
Charles Is Up To Something
Correct me if I'm wrong, but is the third man there Charles? Here's another angle, it's not much better, but his outfit and general build tells me he's not Archie, so, who else could it be?
If it is Charles, it could be him leading Betty and Jughead into a trap. After all, this shot seems to imply a lens recording them, or at least someone else looking in. And evidence of Betty and Jughead near a dead body can only lead to bad things. Also... is that dead body wearing the owl mask?
Protect Jellybean!
If the voyeur harms one hair on Jellybean's head, we riot! Though, I think this looks more to me like a voyeur video than an actual attack (earlier we see the voyeur has footage of Betty and Jughead sleeping, so we know he's gotten into the house). Still, it's not cool to hold a big ass knife up to a girl's face, though I am comforted in seeing Betty holding a gun in the very next shot.
The Mack Truck
There's something else in the trailer that needs dissecting: the "Mack Truck" reference. In the opening scene of the promo, Bret Weston Wallis warns Betty and Jughead, "Something's coming, and it's going to hit you like a Mack Truck." Is this a common saying in the English language? Yes. However, I'm not convinced he's speaking figuratively. I think the "something coming" might be a literal Mack Truck.
On Tuesday, Dec. 8, the day before the trailer dropped, Riverdale showrunner Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa teased the promo with a tweet featuring new Season 5 art. And that art featured a Mack Truck. Now, based on the "Welcome to Rivedale" sign, it looks like the tuck is leaving town, but that could just be for simplicity's sake.
And this isn't the first time the Aguirre-Sacasa has teased Season 5 using Mack Truck imagery. For the past month, every time he's shared official art for the upcoming season, the writer has included a string of emojis. And, while some emojis change, there is always a Mack Truck. Even back in August, Aguirre-Sacasa announced that production on Riverdale's Season 5 was starting with art of a blonde running away from a truck.
And on Halloween, he shared a set photo of an actual truck, writing, "Beware the Lonely Highway, and the truck that cruises its byway at night..."
What does it all mean? And why would Bret, presumably appearing in the early episodes when the crew is still in high school, be teasing a murderous truck that might not show up for another 7 years (post-time jump)?
Riverdale Season 5 doesn't premiere until Jan. 20, and I'm already lost.
Image: Katie Yu/The CW