I think you can’t force it. You might find that they naturally gravitate towards one another, but trying to force a relationship is just going to stress them out and resent the in-laws. Think about yourself: do you want someone asking you to consistently hang out with people you don’t want to hang out with?

Do your in-laws and parents live in the same place? I think a quarterly BBQ can be fun, and you can invite more than just your in-laws too to make it not feel so forced. But trying to do any more than that and trying to force them to independently hang out is tough. 

We do, yeah! They even have dinner without us, if they happen to be in the same town. It’s quite nice. Keep the dream alive!

Would love a second (third, and fourth) opinion here. It’s important to me that my family and my in-laws have a relationship. Not saying they need to be best friends but it’s nice to know that me and my husband can host a holiday, invite both sides, and they can enjoy each other’s company! 

I thought it’d be nice to do occasional get togethers, dinners, BBQs, etc that allow them to hang out and get to know each other well. (They obviously have met and know each other but we got married right before COVID so it’s been limited!)

My husband doesn’t think we need to force anything… fair! But am I wrong for envisioning a family where in-laws are friends with in-laws? Does anyone have this setup??  

do your in-laws hang out?