After much discussion between Candiace Dillard Bassett and her husbandger Chris about the upcoming music video for her debut single, “Drive Back,” and her poorly executed audition for the Housewives to appear in the video, we made it to the day of show. And, even though Candiace invited all of the Housewives minus Ashley Darby, plus friend-of Askale Davis, the shoot went off whatever the exact opposite of “without a hitch” is.
Centered around a drag race of sorts, the women were supposed to engage with one another in front of a gaggle of high end cars that never arrived. So, instead, Candiace had to make do with whatever mid-tier vehicles her guests arrived I’m. She also had them lingering in a parking lot below their typical standards, which added to the stress of the day.
However, before Chris arrived to try to save the day in his kitchen clothes, the ladies of Potomac gossiped about the state of Chris and Candiace’s relationship, like how much he paid for any of their expenses and if he was a kept man. One of the main gossips was Candiace’s mother, Dorothy, who is famously the world’s worst therapists.
But, aside from the gossip Candiace, provided a wonderful concrete landscape for the women to show off their music video looks, where the direction was Fast and Furious. Now, I’ve never laid eyes on one of those films, but from what I gather it’s a lot of denim and tank tops. So, let’s see which of the ladies understood the assignment by judging their looks based on how many wicks their fashion candle would have.
We’ll go beyond Karen’s three, and start at Wendy’s one, from a scale of 1-5.
ASKALE
Though she brings little to the drama table, Askale consistently nails every look at each event she’s attended this season. Rocking a Beyoncé vacation wig, thigh high boots, cut off shorts and a… white button up shirt, accented by a leather jacket, she tried her friend-of best. The look, while cute, was perhaps a touch too polished for the occasion, as I’ve never seen Vin Diesel or Michelle Rodriguez in collared shirt.
3/5 wicks.
MIA
Mia appears to have gotten the cut-off denim short memo like Askale, but she decided to pair hers with a black jacket and big mouth. Hair and lips loose, she pranced around the parking lot set causing so much drama she’d need one of these vehicles to whisk her away to a safe space should Candiace find out the invasive questions her new friend was asking Dorothy. Iconic behavior.
5/5 wicks.
WENDY
Using her new found zest for life and reconstructed body, Professor Wendy created the assignment. Dressed most closely to a character from the film Fast and Furious she too wore cut-off denim shorts, but her leather jacket and slightly a red bandana, brought the look down to earth making her look the most effortlessly badass of the crew. Now, even though she only sells one with candles, I’ll give her...
5/5 wicks.
ROBYN
Now listen here, Robyn always looks cool. But for this, she could have risen to the occasion a bit more. Maybe Juan Dixon is onto something. Opting for what appears to be a typical look for her, the mom of two wore jeans, a jacket and slightly cropped top with two massive cornrows that topped it off. Very cool, but very boring.
2/5 wicks!
GIZELLE
After having to deal with her own daughter Grace’s “Drive Back” lesson after obtaining her permit, I’ll give Gizzy some grace with her attire. Clad all in black, save a white tank top and gold, she accentuated the look with a thick sun visor. For Gizelle whose fashion sense is… not there, this simple look worked perfectly for her. Nothing too out of the ordinary, which is why I hereby declare she use this methodology to get dressed every day!
4.5/5 wicks!
KAREN
Now, Karen tries to class up whatever event she attends, in her own way, and if any of us thought she’d lower herself to a theme, I’d invite us to leave. Karen did her best and didn’t look bad at all, she just opted for all black and a Gucci belt. Very simple, but her take on the whole badass vibe of it all.
3/5 wicks!
DOROTHY
Well, let’s just say I’ve never seen a duster on a Fast and Furious billboard, so Miss Dorothy is just melted wax.
0/5 wicks.