I’ve been eating wrong my whole life

Apparently I can’t even fuggin eat right. Here are three rules to eating you should always follow that I have not been doing at all:

1. After a meal you should sit upright for 2/3 hours so food doesn’t get stuck in your esophagus. Apparently even slouching is a no no

2. Eating slower is supposed to not only make you feel fuller longer but also prevent air from being pulled in your digestive system

3. You should be chewing your bites more. More than you already do. Yup even more than that. Apparently your food should be going down damn near smooth… or else.

If you easily get an upset tummy or heartburn it may not even be the food you ate, it actually may be HOW you’re eating them!