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'KUWTK' Season 20 Premiere Recap: What's Up With Those Masks?

- Keeping Up With the Kardashians -
'KUWTK' Season 20 Premiere Recap: What's Up With Those Masks?

The gang is back for Keeping Up With The Kardashian's 20th and final season, and baby, are they talking about babies. From Kimberly Kardashian prepping for the "Baby Bar" Exam to Scott Disick's struggles to balance his relationships with his baby mama Kourtney and Sofia Richie (who was a baby when Scott got his driver's license) to Khloe and Tristan Thompson's efforts to grow their family while non-romantically co-parenting, babies are the topic du jour and if you weren't drinking every time someone said "baby," "co-parent" or "embryo" I don't know what you're doing with your life. Probably something worthwhile. Congratulations.

The premiere opened as Keeping Up episodes usually do: with Khloe sauntering into Scott's house to interrogate him about his personal life. Please note that Scott and Sofia Richie, who had been dating for three years, are not living together at the moment. They're not on "the same page" (possibly because Sofia's page was penned 15 years after Scott's), Scott says as he and Koko chat about it in a cavernous walk in closet.

As he pours his heart out, Scott absentmindedly clutches the sleeve of a drug rug, which is inexplicably hung on a hanger. Lord Disick, I respect you, but drug rugs belong crumpled in a chair next to your bong cabinet. On a hanger? You've changed.

Even though she's not struggling with the ups and downs of dating someone who she's old enough to have given birth to, Kim is having baby issues of her own. She's been studying for the "Baby Bar" for the last five months, and in her words, "After 10 to 12 hour days, for five weeks straight, I need a mental break."

Kimberly, lots if not most people work 10 to 12 hour days and then come home and parent their kids. For years and years. I know you apparently had to put air in the tire of your car yourself on your way to Malibu (fat chance), but you're still Kim Kardashian, and at the end of your five month stint of hard work came a tropical vacation with 30 of your closest friends during a global pandemic. Kim, there's people that are dying.

We see Kim take the exam in her favorite Skims pajamas while her friends and family wait for her to finish wearing Kris K. designed masks with quotes like "I Hope She Passes" and "Kim is Lawsome" printed on them. Whichever production assistant Kris delegated coming up with those quotes to needs to go get their Series 7 because they're not cut out for Hollywood. "I hope she passes?" So unimaginative.

How about something like "Your Honor, I Object... To The Claims That My Ass is Fake," or "Ladies and Gentleman of the Jury, I Know it's Been a Grueling 10 Hour Day for You." I'm just spitballing here, and if you don't think the quotes I came up with would fit on a mask, then you're just as unimaginative as Kris' fourth assistant once removed. Kim has a sense of humor! Let's punch up those Baby Bar mask quotes! Maybe they'll hire me to write for the Adult Bar Exam masks.

In other news, Khloe and Tristan are discussing producing another revenue stream... I mean baby. They are not together romantically, but apparently that isn't stopping them from growing their family.

I am floored by how the Kard women maintain working relationships with their exes, especially considering how not. great. the exes can be. First, Tristan cheated on Khloe, and now he's acting like a child when they're in the hospital for her egg retrieval surgery. (He's no Lamar Odom, who also cheated on Khloe, and had a serious substance use disorder, but Lamar did give us that amazing scene of him with a bladeless fan, and for that, we'll be forever grateful. Bladeless fan's in your court, Thompson.)

So, Koko is going through a second round of retrieval because heartbreakingly, her first round of eggs were too fragile to be viable. Imagine being the doctor who tells Khloe Kardashian her eggs were too fragile. I'd be worried she'd make a revenge exercise show about me.

Eventually we find out that Khloe's second round of retrieval garnered three healthy eggs. I have high hopes that one of them will be True's younger sibling who struggles with fame and ultimately leaves the good life to work with the homeless, or maybe dedicates themselves to sustainable farming, or something equally altruistic, like becoming Stormi's manicurist. A gal can dream.

Ultimately we find out that Scott decided to throw himself back into the deep end of the baby pool and spend 4th of July with Sofia, which results in Sofia issuing an ultimatum: it's her or Kourtney. Nice try, kiddo. Kourtney, though a huge buzzkill and the least interesting to look at, holds Scott's heart, and that's never going to change.

Also, the idea of them getting back together and having a fourth child is always going to be a plot point, by Kris Kardashian's design, so you better think about your ultimatums, young grasshopper. You're going to be to be out of the media spotlight before you're old enough to rent a car. There's a Rinna spawn waiting in the shadows to take over your role as we speak.

Kim's expanding her empire to include legal services, Khloe's on her way to adding an additional 25% to her brood, and Scott's... he has a Baja pullover on a hanger, so the man is doing just fine.

Next week, we're left to find out if Scott, Kim, and Khloe will carry their own babies and their kingdoms expand. I mean, all of their babies have been tough on their bodies so only time will tell.

Images: E! screenshots

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