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'Hot Off The Mess' Tackles 'RHONY's Premiere & Ben Affleck's DMs

- Hot Off The Mess -
'Hot Off The Mess' Tackles 'RHONY's Premiere & Ben Affleck's DMs

It only took one trip to see Sonja Morgan's fishes to realize this season of Real Housewives of New York is instantly iconic, and Samantha Bush is here to make it even better. The brilliant mind behind @BravoHistorian has released another episode of her podcast, Hot Off The Mess, this week, and it will take you on a journey from apples to ombrés.

On this week's new drop, Samantha recaps the first episode of RHONY, chats bullying on Real Housewives of Dallas, and ponders the future of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Plus, an exploration of Justin Bieber's dreads (and why we might need Kendall Jenner to stop him), and why Ben Affleck's sliding into DMs this week. Check out the new episode, and an excerpt in this post, below! (And when you listen to the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts, remember to rate and review.)

Chic, c'est la podcast!

EXCERPT FROM HOT OFF THE MESS

Now for my favorite piece of news: I have saved the best for last. Ben Affleck. Whom I adore. So, fun fact about little Benny is he actually filmed his Batman movie — the Batman vs. Superman movies — in Detroit. So at the time, I believe he was struggling a little bit and he would go to the casinos, and we have, like, multiple, really big casinos in Detroit. He would go there and he would count cards. I just love that little fact about Ben, because he's actually incredibly smart and people don't really realize that, like, it is very Good Will Hunting. (I've never actually seen it. I've only seen the clips of it that appeared on Tumblr a couple of years ago.)

So he's also been giving us a lot of quarantine content. If you go on Instagram or Twitter or you are trash and you read The Daily Mail like myself every single morning — it's part of my routine — you'll see that every single day he is pictured outside of his house on his stoop, picking up like 14 Dunkin' Donuts iced coffees. And like, he always looks disheveled. He always in some sort of gray Dorito-stained t-shirt. I'm obsessed with it. And that isn't really what I'm here to talk about.

Okay. I'm here to discuss a TikTok that has been circulating the interwebs. A girl, a young girl posted a TikTok this week saying that she matched a man who said he was Ben Affleck on Raya. So what Raya, if you're not familiar, it is like the Bumble or hinge or Tinder for like famous people. It's like, it's like what all celebrities use. Instagram influencers, if they like get approved, there's like a waitlist. And I think when you're on Raya, you can't talk about being on Raya. I remember hearing that from — I don't want to even say her name — but Stassi brought that up on her podcast one time, like many years ago, when I used to listen to it. It's like really embarrassing on that.

I'm admitting that to all of you, but, so a girl posted a TikTok saying that she matched with a man named Ben Affleck on Raya. And she was like, there's no way this is him. Like, there's just no fucking chance. So she unmatched and he then finds her on Instagram and DMs her a video.

Ben Affleck video: "Why did you unmatch me? It's me."

Okay, so you just heard it, but I swear to God, you have to see it because it's like — he is the character he played in fucking Gone Girl. He is like, so close to the camera and he's like, "Hey, it's me," like, oh my god. But it's disgusting. And it's like so weird, but it's honestly... it's kinda hot.

Like. Yeah. He wanted her like that bad. I mean, the bar really is so... honestly, the bar can be in the fucking gutter for Ben Affleck to be completely honest. I'll take him in any form. I've been with him since the very beginning. Okay. Even though I didn't watch his most famous movie, you know, that put them on the map, but I did watch Jersey Girl.

So I mean, I'm garbage. I mean, I want to hate this. Like I want to be like, wow, what a scumbag, but I'm obsessed with it. I've watched it so many times I've sent it to so many people and they're all like, get a grip, Sam. It's really not that serious. I'm just like, no, like, I want this televised at my funeral.

It's amazing. And it got me thinking, can you imagine like a really famous actress doing that? No, you can't, because the confidence of a white man is just... there's nothing like it. Like, he's like, "Hey, it's me," like, oh my god.

I need updates. Like, did she respond? Is she going to have dinner with him? I mean, is she going to get an iced coffee? I need to know what is going on. And I hope we never have to see him walking his dogs with Anna de Armas ever again, because that was a really dark time, when his PR team and her PR team put them together and like made them literally walk the streets.

I'm glad that he's like moved on from that, you know, like, I'm glad he's like not doing that anymore, but that video that he sent that girl... I will be thinking about it for the rest of my fucking days, because I mean, I want a video like that.

Send me a video like that. Honestly, I would die. I would die, again, play it at my funeral. If I die, I want it to be televised there. I will make everyone watch it. And my extended family who already thinks I'm fucking nuts will be like, "Why is Ben Affleck on the fucking screen? Like, we're mourning the loss of our least-favorite cousin."

So yeah, that is where I stand with Ben Affleck. I will keep you all updated.

Listen to more podcasts from The Dipp...

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'Pop Chaser' Podcast

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