'Gossip Girl' Recap: People Need To Start Asking The Hard Questions

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'Gossip Girl' Recap: People Need To Start Asking The Hard Questions

Ever have a question you didn’t want the answer to? Like, when you don’t want to go to the doctor to have a lump on your arm checked because your anxious brain and too many hours on WebMD have convinced you that it’s a rare form of bone cancer and you only have 18 hours to live and you’ll never get to see what Timothee Chalamet wears to the Dune premiere. (My guess: shants. Shorts that are also pants.)

On this episode of Gossip Girl, questions like, “Is my sister trying to destroy me?”, “Is the girl that I’m dating secretly awful?”, “Is my boyfriend gay?”, and, of course, “Should I fuck one of my students even though it is both immoral and illegal?” are not being asked. Who wants to know the answer when it's always yes, except to that last question, and then there aren’t enough “NO!”s created by an infinite number of monkeys sitting at an infinite number of keyboards. (That is also the basis for Twitter, by the way.)

Before we get into all of that, I just want to give a hand to the writers of Gossip Girl, who stuff so many funny lines into an episode, that it’s like a piñata that wants to hit itself because it’s too damn full. What about Zoya’s sick burn about not knowing what a “Minka Kelly” is or Monet saying, “Vulnerability is the disease of the masses.” Or Kate yelling at her fellow GG teachers for saying no one starts drama on someone’s birthday, “Have you seen Bravo.” The best one, however, is when Julien is freaking out about the state of her relationship with Zoya and asks Monet and Luna, “What have I ever done?” Monet sheepishly adds, almost subconsciously, “You were in the ‘Imagine’ video.” I’m sure they make a lot, but give all of these hardworking people a raise. There are so many sick burns and amazing jokes in each episode that you can’t even find them all. They’re like the lice in your children’s hair after a pre-school outbreak.

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