Don't Play This Song At Your Wedding If You Love Your Single Friends

- Friends -
Don't Play This Song At Your Wedding If You Love Your Single Friends

Planning a wedding is all about decisions. What flowers do you go with? Who is going to give a speech? Which dry piece of meat will you serve? And then there's the music. Most couples will provide their DJ or live band with a list of music they want to hear throughout the night. But the more crucial list is the songs they absolutely do not want to hear. (The "Cha-Cha Slide," or any organized dance for that matter, "Marry You" by Bruno Mars, because it's too on the nose.) But allow me to suggest another song that should be banned from your wedding playlist — at least if you love your single friends: "Single Ladies" by Beyonce.

Don't get me wrong, Beyonce at a wedding is a very good idea. "Love On Top" by the fifth chorus? Absolute banger that even your Aunt Paula won't be able to deny. "Countdown"? Everyone knows how to count down from 10 to one. Even "Crazy In Love" works. But more often than not, "Single Ladies," the once-beloved oft-parodied song from 2008 is absolutely mortifying.

Why? A couple of reasons:

  • People think they know the choreography. They don't. And the same way you don't want to watch a group of drunk people try to pull it together for the "Cupid Shuffle" is the same reason you don't want to watch people do one eight count of the "Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh" part.
  • It's usually the song dedicated to all the namesake "single ladies" at the wedding. And that's where the real issue lies.

While there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single at a wedding — sometimes it's more fun, for obvious reasons! — the moment the DJ or MC says, "Can I get all my single ladies out on the dance floor," those single ladies die just a little inside. They just do, trust me. Brides, you're all loved up and too ignorant to realize that the last thing your single friends want to do while celebrating yet another one of their friends getting married is make it known to everyone else in the venue that they are alone. They'll smile and shimmy their way to the dance floor and pretend like they're having fun, because it's your day, but just know that behind those smiles is a look in their eyes that says, "Fucking kill me."

I don't know how else to say it other than, just don't do it. Don't do it to your friends. Let them let people know they're single if they want to. Don't put them in a position to do the "Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh OH OH OH" part. Consider this the new bouquet toss (which is humiliating and should be banned). Your single friends will thank you.

Images: NBC

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