Vampire slayer and guidance counselor extraordinaire Buffy Summers just hit a big milestone. As Buffy the Vampire Slayer star Sarah Michelle Gellar reminded us, Buffy turned 40 on Tuesday, Jan. 19.
And what does a slayer do on her fortieth? Well, according to Gellar, she lives — not a given considering she died twice in the span of 7 seasons. "She taught that the hardest thing in the world is to live in it. So, in her honor, let's all be brave. Live," she wrote in part.
Buffy making it to age 40 was never promised, and while I'm very happy that she seems to have survived thus far, I am also desperate for more info. Is Buffy married? Is she still in Sunnydale? Is she still a slayer? Does she keep in touch with Spike? Since the powers that be refuse to give me the "Where are they now" reunion episode of my dreams, I have decided to take matters into my own hands, and imagine a few various possible futures for our dear Buffy Summers.
Call Her Summers. Buffy Summers.
After closing the Hellmouth for good, Buffy ditched Sunnydale, but she couldn't escape her need for adventure, or her desire to do good. So, she became a super spy. She's virtually unbeatable, with her super strength and years of fighting monsters. Plus, she's great at blending in (see above). Not one for oversight, Buffy isn't actually affiliated with any government or organization, she's a freelancer. And you better believe, she's going to get paid.
This Buffy probably spent her 40th birthday running around Europe, chasing down the agent that double crossed her in Budapest 3 years ago. As one does.
Adventures Of A Guidance Counselor
After saving the universe for the hundredth time, Buffy decided to leave the slaying to the teens. She's now a married mother of twins working as a guidance counselor at Sunnydale High, where she's careful to make sure no students dapple in necromancy and those bitten by werewolves lock themselves up on the full moon. Occasionally, she'll hear something go bump in the night and think of her stash of stakes and crossbows in the closet, but, for the most part, she lives a quiet life and is looking forward to spending her birthday not with a bunch of hungry vamps or the end of the world, but instead with a glass of her favorite cab and the entire season of Bridgerton in her Netflix queue.
Slayer Academy
Buffy started a Slayer Academy to make sure all new, young slayers have a home base where they can train safely and maybe even go to high school. Vamps with consciences are allowed to attend, as are witches. Occasional class trips take the students from California to Mystic Falls to hang out with the special kids of Legacies, and Buffy may or may not have a friends with benefits understanding with Alaric Saltzman. She likes his vaguely librarian vibe, he likes that she can literally kill any of his students who get out of line.
Sex & The Slayer
If there's one thing all Buffy fans can agree on, it's that she deserves to have some meaningless hookups and flings. Her first boyfriend turned evil when they had sex. Her second boyfriend flew off in a helicopter without a second thought, and her third, well, he had a lot of issues. At 40-years-old, Buffy deserves to hop on a plane, jet off to New York City, and start her own Sex and the City journey. I hear there's a friend group looking for a fourth.
Buffy The YA Queen
Being a slayer isn't just a thankless job, it's also unpaid. I say, Buffy deserves to make some money off of her trials, and what better way than to release a series of YA books based on her own life? At 40, she's a best-selling author who's about to see her first book be adapted into a film, with a Jennifer Lawrence/Shailene Woodley-esque lead in place to play her. She's taking herself from the grave to the bank, and it's glorious.
No matter where Buffy is now, I like to think she celebrated turning 40 by taking Mr. Pointy out of storage and dusting a few vamps. It's the slayer way.
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Images: Amazon Prime Video