We need to talk about Doogie Richard's home decor
Well, season 12 of RHOBH is here and the internet is buzzing. But, unlike the rest of the viewers, I'm not focused on Dorit's heartbreaking account of the burglary, Lisa Rinna's rats, or Erika Jayne's Pokemon evolution to her final form as a Bond Villain.
No, I can't stop thinking about the damn neon sign that Kyle "Doogie" Richards insists on keeping in her foyer. Now, in theory, the sign is....fine. Cute, even. But, in practice, it creates the exact ambiance of a nightclub interrogation room.
Imagine walking into someone's home, only to have your corneas immediately assaulted by the Beverly Hills (oops, sorry, Encino) version of Michael Scott's St. Paulis Girl.
Every season I pray that this foul, flamboyant, fluorescent display of a midlife crisis will be given the Lucy Lucy Apple Juice treatment. But alas, there appears to be no kill shelter in sight for this migraine inducing monstrosity.
Instead, this neon nightmare taunts me every time someone arrives to Kyle's home and is blasted by the aggressively gruesome glow. You truly can't make it to Doogie's kitchen without first looking like you should be cast as a husband on RHONJ. (Sorry, you won't be able to unsee it now)
And so, after seasons of perseverating on this unrelenting design decision, I've finally figured it out. There is only one logical explanation as to why, in a house of near constant renovations, this neon sign has persisted: it is one final pink, passive aggressive message to LVP: "B*tch please, you could never be me."
Well, Doogie, you've made your point. It's time to say Goodbye, Kyle.