Well, another lack-luster episode of Below Deck wherein while watching I found myself wondering if I could add more excitement by shoving dull bamboo shoots under my fingernails or masticating wet cardboard.

To be fair, a lot of comments have been made over the last few seasons by fans that they’d like to see less drama and more of what it’s really like to work on a yacht. Well here we are with language barriers, bad math, ironing lessons, beach bombs, and the Caribbean version of Jules Verne’s Around the Island in 80 Tender Trips.

This is going to read a bit like a performance review because there still isn’t a lot of cast backstory to invest in and these guests aren’t raging assholes needing of etiquette classes or throat punches.

Let’s start with the deck department...

Eddie

We’ve already seen little cracks in his seemingly matured-since-last-time veneer. Let’s be very clear, he knew that (per the Below Deck formula) he’d end up with some pastel green crew. That is done so we can see growth in management style, or not. He seems to have written off Shane and to some extent James from the get-go. I don’t expect him to really step up and try much with them, versus just bitching to Lee about them being useless.

Part of Eddie’s job is to drive the tender, and throwing a fit every time you were called to bring something to the paying guests just makes him look like a toddler throwing a tantrum. It’s frustrating the girls weren’t more organized — hell he did the same thing to me at my first beach party in Season 1 — but it’s still his job. It’s not like he was developing a cure for cancer in between tender trips…