Why only have one terrifying supernatural creature when you can have two? Ryan Murphy's American Horror Story Season 10 trailer officially revealed what I can only assume are the villains this time around: aliens and sea vampires (?). And yet, even with two creepy supernatural entities walking around, looking for blood, I have never been less scared of an AHS trailer in my life. And I am a scaredy cat.
It's not that the creatures aren't scary. The sea vampires — who I believe are supposed to be Ryan Murphy's spin on sirens (aka mermaids) — are massive, with razor sharp teeth, big shoulders, and terrifyingly bald heads. The aliens, on the other hand, look like they just walked out of an episode of X-Files, but they are dissecting people in the teaser, which is definitely not not scary. But it's the image of the two monsters making out that really takes the fear factor out of it. Half the teaser is just an alien and a sea vampire making out with each other and passing a mysterious black pill from creepy tongue to creepy tongue.
So, yeah, they're scary, but is the teaser sending shivers down my spine? No. But I suspect that Murphy might be lulling me in with a false sense of security. This is AHS we're talking about. I don't stand a chance.
The trailer doesn't give much away in terms of plot, though it does state that the season — officially titled AHS: Double Feature — will be separated into two parts. "Part 1: Red Tide" will, I assume, feature the sea vampires, and "Part 2: Death Valley" will focus on the aliens, though based on the trailer it definitely seems like the two stories will intertwine. Zoom in on the alien dissection scene, and you can see they're not experimenting on a human body, they're operating on a sea vamp.
It's unclear exactly how the human cast of AHS: Double Feature will fit into this new creature feature season. Macaulay Culkin, Kathy Bates, Leslie Grossman, Sarah Paulson, Billie Lourd, Evan Peters, Angelica Ross, Finn Wittrock, Adina Porter, and Lily Rabe are all set to star, but none appear in the teaser. What does appear in the teaser, however, is a violin made of meat.
Honestly, in a trailer full of sea monsters and aliens looking straight out of the '80s, the meat violin is probably the scariest thing here. WHY would you do this to a perfectly good instrument? And what does it all mean? I truly have no idea. I may not be frightened, but I am confused.
American Horror Story: Double Feature premieres on FX Aug. 25.
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Image: FX Networks/YouTube