To be a fan of 90 Day Fiancé means that, statistically, you are guaranteed to question the life choices of about 85 to 90 percent of the cast members at any given time. At one point or another, you will actively dislike almost all of these people. Eventually, a smaller selection of individuals in this group will drive you to a burning rage that fills your entire being. Despite being inexplicable and slightly terrifying, this is just how things are, like massive sinkholes or the fact that Colt Johnson has an OnlyFans page. Still, every so often something magical happens on 90 Day, and a hero will appear on the screen — someone so wholesome, so pure, that you are forced to question everything you know about the laws of reality television. In Season 8 of 90 Day Fiancé, that someone is Mama Trish, mother of Mike (of Mike and Natalie) and perhaps the most likable character of the season since Ryan’s grilled lobster from Episode 8.

To know Mama Trish is to know two things: One, that bangs are a lifestyle choice, not a trend. And two: That we should all aspire to be her. As Trish arrives in Sequim, Wash., (which is, by the way, pronounced Skwim) to visit Mike and Natalie, it’s clear that she loves her son and that she’s not interested in derailing her life for his drama. In a 90 Day Fiancé world — where every other mother is overprotective and controlling — Trish has her own shit going on, thank you very much. She rolls up to Michael’s tree farm, unpacks her carry-on suitcase from her truck, and stays on the couch for a few days. It’s all very chill. She greets Natalie warmly, inquiring about her family and the wedding in a normal, thoughtful way that says, “This probably won’t end well, but I’ll be polite in the meantime.” She encourages them both to plan something, anything for a wedding because, honestly, what else are they doing together if not? Still, she has no qualms about being realistic about the situation.