Oh No, The New 'Gossip Girl' Photos Prove I'm No Longer Cool

- Gossip Girl -
Oh No, The New 'Gossip Girl' Photos Prove I'm No Longer Cool

Anyone who has ever lived in New York will tell you there are three things to fear about one's daily existence: 1) Actual death by falling air conditioner and/or scaffold; 2) Death of the soul by falling asleep on the F train and waking up all the way in Coney Island; or 3) Social death by a passing gaggle of cool high schoolers. And, after seeing set photos from HBO Max's Gossip Girl reboot, my social status has officially been downgraded to kid-at-the-back-of-the-class-with-the-fruit-rollup-stained-lips.

Because if 2007's Gossip Girl was the refined sibling of the era's 90210 reboot, 2021's Gossip Girl is the urbane sibling of future lead-in Euphoria, offering up first looks that are as breathlessly cool as Zendaya's HBO hit, but as expensive as a Supreme shopping spree. Whereas the Gossip Girl of the early aughts was all about headbands and head honchos at Constance, Gossip Girl of the roaring '20s gives us thigh-highs and ties and Tavi Gevinson besides. (And probably no one that rhymes or uses the word "honcho.")

There is a lot to be excited about when it comes to the reboot — some much-needed diversity, a female director behind the series' first two episodes, and the return of Gossip Girl's original designer and, of course, Gossip Girl herself — but relatability certainly isn't one of them. As creator Joshua Safran tweeted:

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And Frasier crawled (said this old person).

That said, that's why we watched Gossip Girl in the first place. Back then, teenagers in smoking jackets made us question our choice of sweatpants, while teenagers in masks and couture will make us question our choice of... well, sweatpants, but, no matter the era, Gossip Girl will invariably help us escape. And, judging by the early reaction from the series, it will succeed in that quest — as HBO Max's head of original content Sarah Aubrey teased at the TCAs, "We have gotten the first script and I can tell you we all breathed a big sigh of relief because it's quite good."

And, though one who came of age in the late '90s and early 2000s may no longer be able to pull off fanny packs without looking like Disneyland tourist whose kids need to just calm down or no Dippin' Dots for you NO DIPPIN' DOTS FOR YOU, the new Gossip Girl is still dedicated to watchers of yore — not only has the series' original designer, Eric Daman, evoked some looks of Constance 2007, but the series will also reportedly reference (if not feature) Serena, Dan, & Co., as it builds the storylines for its new cast members.

But there's some good news — according to Safran, in the new Gossip Girl, Brooklyn is cool. And since I live in Brooklyn, I will consider myself at least as cool as Rufus. And he wears leather necklaces, so.

Image: The CW

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