Getting what you want can be really confusing, especially when we're not used to it. I guess ask yourself what REALLY is causing the overwhelming feeling. Is it him? (Bad sign) Is it your reluctance to open up to change? (Normal) Is it a residual Covid feeling that hanging out is dangerous? (Normal) Is it your fear of losing yourself? (Normal) ... Once you narrow it down, you'll be in a better spot to recognize it and address it <3 

When I can figure out how to get *into* the talking phase, I’ll give my input on how to get out of it  😅

The talking phase is especially weird because you can warp your brain into thinking there’s no way they’re actually interested in you — they just want to be your friend! And then you’re doing another weird dance where you are looking for clues that they like you in a deeper way than friendship, but it would be weird for them to express it. And then they might think YOU are no longer interested too bc you’re holding back. 

So yeah I don’t have great advice bc clearly I am my own worst enemy.

It is overwhelming. And it's especially hard because when you have been single for a while, when things start to progress with someone, you start to feel some imposter syndrome. As things start to progress, the conversations will naturally come up and those intrusive feelings subside. It is overwhelming though, and I'd just say take it a day at a time and just naturally follow the flow of the relationship. IDK if that's helpful, but just know you're not alone! 

Weird realization here. I always think people hate me, and yet I’m super direct and go after it. Contradiction or related? Either way, wearing your heart in your sleeve is the best policy. 

I think it’s all about feeling it out but also time is important. How long has it been? How long have you known them? How many dates have you been on? There’s so many factors to it. I have the same problem. Maybe we should just be direct and as much as guys don’t like having the talk at the end of the day you should know where you guys stand

What I have always found to be difficult is the post-material phase. Like, you have your whole routine when you start dating someone — the stories that you tell at the beginning of every relationship. But how do you get from those stories to ACTUAL conversation? Bridging that gap makes you feel really vulnerable. It's like going from scripted comedy to improv. 

Dating is not something I've done in a very long time, and honestly I would be terrible at it. I'm very direct and go after what I want. I kissed my husband first; I told him I loved him first... Pretty sure I brought up marriage. 

In your case, I'd be direct because it's the only way I know how. "I like you. I don't want to date other people. Are you there yet?"

Ugh dating is the worst. I'm just impressed and glad you've had fun with it and that you found someone! Giving hope to us all!

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I've been single for a while now, and getting back into dating has been terrifying, fun, horrific, you name it, I've felt it. 

But what happens when you like someone and *gasp* they like you back? How do you... start dating and get out of the weird talking, situationship phase? Because suddenly you have what you wanted and now someone is wanting to see you, wanting to make plans, and it's overwhelming. 

Getting Out Of The Talking Phase