In the world of the CW's Riverdale, the only appropriate response to accidentally matching on Bumble with someone from the so-called "small town with pep!" is to run. Yes, it's easy to be distracted by the chiseled abs or perfectly-maintained red manes, but more likely than not, your date's dad is a serial killer and/or gangster whose nefarious plot you will inevitably be wrapped up in. Save yourself the headache and unmatch.

Alas, this is The CW, and steamy make outs need to happen somewhere. Despite Riverdale being a town so small we've only seen a single restaurant (does Pop's also serve Chinese?) there are quite a few places available to take your honey, should the mood strike. Just try not to get killed or indoctrinated into a gang, okay?

Below, I've ranked Riverdale's best date locations from worst to best, so you know what's up next time you swipe on someone who hails from a maple syrup fortune.

The Backroom of the Video Store

Sooooo at best, your date took you to watch an illegally recorded sex tape featuring two teenagers (!!!!!) and at worse, they're here to show you a snuff film. To make matters even grosser, there's a chance your high school principal is in the back row. Yikes on yikes.

The Whyte Wyrm

Is it a sketchy bar, or is it a drug lab masquerading as a sketchy bar? And is that jingle jangle you smell in the air? Before you dare order a vodka soda to numb the bad vibes, just call Riverdale's version of an Uber (a Scoober?) and GTFO.