I love dogs. I love Vanderpump Rules. So by transitive property (I think?) I should love Vanderpump Dogs, Lisa Vanderpump's new show about, you guessed it, her rescue and adoption center by the same name. And yet, everything happening in the trailer for Vanderpump Dogs — the series premieres June 9 on Peacock — makes me feel like this:
More specifically, this...
It's not that I don't want to see dogs get adopted into their "furever homes." I want that all the time — 24/7! But will there be drama? Will there be a resident DJ? How about consistent cheating? Will there be an insubordinate employee that tells their manager to go "suck a dick"? Is that too much to ask?
I do have some takeaways from the trailer, however, that I'd like to share. First and foremost...
- Nary a mention about the most notorious dog, Lucy Lucy Apple Juice, to come out of Vanderpump Dogs.
- Lisa seems to always be there, handpicking dogs for potential adoptees.
- Each dog shown to potential adoptees has a bio, a la the dating TV show Next.
- A Vanderpuff is made up of "a shampoo and brushout." (And per the Vanderpump Dogs website: A pawdicure, eye/pad/sanitary trims, gland check and treatment, paw massage, and a signature bandana.)
- We're gonna see some wieners, and not the dachshund kind. (See: sanitary trim.)
- There's going to be so! much! pink!
- There will be a lot of sexual innuendos. (This is Vanderpump we're talking about!)
- There's a confessional green screen that places the interviewees at a random park that is already driving me crazy.
What do you think of Vanderpump Dogs? Are you going to watch it or are you holding out for Vanderpump Babies, a show that has not been greenlit except for in our hearts here at The Dipp.
Images: Peacock/screenshots