What Streaming Service Is Right For "Geriatric Millennials"?

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What Streaming Service Is Right For "Geriatric Millennials"?

If you’re a "geriatric millennial" like me, you remember the good old days of feeling the excitement of receiving that Netflix DVD in the mail. It was a simpler time. Choices were limited, but we still felt like we were getting the on-demand, personalized experience that we craved. Ah, we were so cute back then.

Fast-forward ten years, and every little square at the bottom of our TVs show the 567 million streaming services available, and within each, billions of shows, movies, and videos that all vie for our attention. There’s Hulu and Sling and Prime and Peacock and lions and tigers and bears and CrunchyRoll.

I don’t know about you but it’s exhausting. At one point during lockdown, I literally kept a spreadsheet showing each streaming service my husband and I subscribed to, along with each show, documentary, and movie we wanted to watch.

Getting organized was helpful, so, with that, I'm pleased to present you the most important streaming services you should focus your time on, grouped into four simple categories.

THE OBVIOUS:

  • Netflix: The Regina George of Streaming. As of early 2021, Netflix has 209M subscribers worldwide, 15 awards, and 89 nominations across both the Oscars and Emmys. It's responsible for the rise in TV re-watches for many cult classics such as The Office, Friends and new icon, Schitt's Creek. Its original content is fantastic, such as Stranger Things, Ozark, The Crown and Selling Sunset…and we can’t forget the documentary classic, Tiger King. Movies, TV, documentaries, and kids' programming galore… all hail the Queen. Prices range from about $9 to $18 a month, depending on the upgrades you want.
  • Hulu: Regina George always needs a Gretchen Wieners, which is where our green little comforting light comes in known as Hulu. Currently at 39M subscribers, Hulu has given us so many beautiful must-watch originals such as Pen15, The Handmaids Tale, Little Fires Everywhere, Palm Springs, and The Act. The Hulu Live option is also a game changer, allowing subscribers the opportunity to ditch their cable providers and use Hulu to enjoy live cable content. Plus, with the current bundle offering of Hulu, Disney + and ESPN +, Hulu now knows everything about everyone… ("And that’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets.") Prices range from about $6 to $12 a month, depending on whether or not you get commercials.
  • Amazon Prime Video: Back in 2006, Amazon jumped into the streaming game with Prime Video, allowing their Prime members full streaming access to movie and TV content. Bezos runs every other aspect of the world, why not monopolize the streaming game? The Boys, Modern Love, and Mozart In The Jungle are among its most popular original series, and you really can't beat their UX, which helps Prime members easily access old and new movies to view for free, or rent or buy.

THE BOUJEE:

  • HBO Max: Right smack in the middle of the pandemic, HBO comes out swinging with HBO Max, which allows their HBO cable subscribers free access to their streaming content along with direct, first to market movie premieres. I don’t know about you, but I am loving re-watching my lovable cousin Greg on Succession and re-watching Entourage ("hug it out bitch!") And HBO’s original content also runs the gamut with shows such as The Flight Attendant and Hacks. Not an HBO member? That's where the boujeeness rears its head: monthly subscriptions start around $15 a month. Expensive? Yes. Worth It? Hell yes. Maybe just for the Gossip Girl reboot, alone.
  • Apple TV: There's not enough time to say what I want to say about this beautiful concoction called Apple TV. Also a fairly new service launched in the Fall of 2019, Apple TV hit it out of the park giving us brilliance such as The Morning Show and Ted Lasso. It's not as costly as HBO Max: the average subscription price is around $5 a month.

THE UNDERRATED

  • Peacock: When you think of Peacock, you think of an animal with self-confidence, self-esteem, dignity, and beauty, right? NBC Universal's streaming service offers just that. The payment terms are a bit confusing at first, with their "Free Free Free Free" advertising (is this a TurboTax commercial?) but you pay the minimal subscription fees (between about $5-$10 a month) for additional content, i.e. The Office bonus features, Keeping Up with the Kardashians bloopers, etc. If you’re a NBC Universal fan through and through, this is the place for you…. and what Bravo fan hasn’t begun their Housewife All Stars countdown?
  • Paramount +: What began as CBS All Access shifted into the new Paramount+, an incredibly genius move to garner a piece of the pie within the younger market. With access to live CBS shows, original content, and Paramount films, the service offers Viacom lovers Nickelodeon, Comedy Central, and MTV shows, too. I must admit, Paramount+ did not seem like my cup of tea when I first tested it out, but do not be swayed away by the CBS reputation… Paramount absolutely has a ton to offer and is one to check out. Watching Younger was a huge bonus. There are pricing options that range from $0 to $9.99 a month.

THE BASICS

  • Sling TV: I always want more, more original content, cool effects, and something to brag about. Sling TV, with prices between $35 and $50 a month, offers none of that, zilch, nada…with only a cheaper way to watch live TV.
  • YouTube TV is a fantastic service for $65 a month– it allows you to watch live TV and it has an unlimited DVR. It's great because you can have multiple accounts and it's super user-friendly. So far, there aren't any YouTube TV originals, but currently, YouTube TV subscribers have access to YouTube Originals at no extra cost.
  • Crunchyroll: If you like anime, this is the place for you. It starts for free.
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