If you are a fan of The Office like myself, then you know the iconic episode that is Season 4 Episode 13, i.e. "Dinner Party." If you are are not a fan of The Office, do yourself a favor and watch this episode anyway. It is is arguably one of the best half-hours of television there is out there.
Now that I am an "adult" (I am using this term very loosely), I figured it was time to start doing some "adult" things. While deciding between a Roth and Traditional IRA is way over my head (honestly I am even proud of myself for knowing those terms at all), hosting a dinner party seems a manageable feat. I figured now was a good time as any to go back and re-watch "Dinner Party" for the ump-teeth time and pick up some tips and tricks (... or lack there of) from our very own Micheal Scoot and Jan Levinson.
Here are the "dos" and "don'ts" of Dinner Parties, according to The Office.
DO
Make sure you have people who want to attend your dinner party.
DON'T
Pretend that corporate is making your office work late so that when you "call" corporate to tell them off you full well know your employees don't have plans and will have no choice but to say yes to your Dinner Party.
DO
Invite your best friend.
DON'T
Tell your best friend they can't come because it's couples only.
DO
Bring wine if you are a guest at the party.
DON'T
Low-key shade your guest and tell them that the wine they brought will be great to cook with (... even if it's true, just don't say it aloud).
DO
Give a house tour (... to be honest, I love a tour).
DON'T
Condescend your guest and call their passions "doodles" while on said tour.
DO
Tidy up the house before guests arrive.
DON'T
Leave out a camcorder on a tripod facing the bed.
DO
Show off your prized processions: plasma tv, hand-built table, Dundies, etc.
DON'T
Tell your current significant other that you dated another party guest when you, in fact, did not.
DO
Make sure you have food ready to go for your guests.
DON'T
Wait until the guests arrive to start the three-hour braising process for the Osso Buco.
DO
Play music for the ambiance and vibes.
DON'T
Play music (that may or may not be about you) that your former assistant (who you may or may not have slept with) wrote.
DO
Have dancing!
DON'T
Be the only one dancing awkwardly.
DO
Play games (we LOVE a game night).
DON'T
Argue about the rules while playing the games.
DO
Tell engaging stories.
DON'T
Tell an embarrassing story about your significant other running into a glass door and shattering it.
DO
Tell your guests about your interests, passions, and exciting career endeavors.
DON'T
Use this party as an opportunity for a pitch meeting to get them to invest in your significant other's candle company.
DO
Welcome an unexpected arrival with open arms.
DON'T
Tell them they were not invited.
DO
Relate to your guests on a personal level.
DON'T
Tell your guests about multiple vasectomies, and reverse vasectomies.
DO
serve your guests a nicely plated meal.
DON'T
Tell one of your guests that the food may or may not be poisoned (... this may be obvious, but also don't poison the food).
DO
Have cool decorations and lighting.
DON'T
Hang a "St. Pauli Girl" sign in the middle of dinner (can't believe I'm saying this but I'm on Jan's side of this one).
DO
Have a theatrical performance for your guests .
DON'T
Get out of hand and throw a Dundie and break the prized $200 plasma-screen TV.
DO
Have a high energy party.
DON'T
Have the police called on your party.
Seems pretty simple, right? Basically don't be Michael and Jan. Now go forth with your adult life, my friends!
Image: NBC