It's so easy to compare the characters of the new Gossip Girl to the rich kids who came before them. After all, this gang is quite literally replacing them on the steps of the Met, and giving us all the drama we've missed from the mean girls of Constance Billiard. While there are many differences between the new iteration of Gossip Girl and the The CW's original flavor (for one thing, the teachers are Gossip Girl this time around) the new characters are basically just amalgamations of the OG GG crew. All it takes is a little math to figure out who is who.
Imagine the original Gossip Girl crew as Zodiac signs. No one is 100 percent a Libra in every single way, but if you combine a Libra sun with, say, an Aries rising, you've got a much clearer picture of a person's whole thing. I've rounded up the core characters of the new Gossip Girl, did a little configuring, and figured out who is part Blair, part Serena, and even part the original Gossip Girl himself. See if you agree below.
Serena + Blair = Julien
Julien sits at top of the social pyramid, and has the easy confidence that comes from being universally adored — a classic Serena vibe. Like Blair, Julien is well aware of the social minefields she has to navigate in order to stay on top of her game, and when push comes to shove, is happy to scheme to get her way. However, Julien leans Serena in that she really does believe she is a good person, and wants to be one — it's why she doesn't destroy Zoya for hooking up with Obie five seconds after they break up.
Nate + Eric = Aki
Eric van der Woodsen was often the show's voice of reason, and that's definitely Aki. Like Nate, however, Aki is in a longterm relationship and though he wants more, he's not totally sure how to say that he wants more. Nate ultimately pushed back on what everyone expected of him, so it's possible Aki will do the same down the line.
Dan + Jenny = Zoya
Zoya has Jenny's rebellious streak and Dan's (alleged) morality holding her back from getting too deep in the mud with her new mean girl classmates. Plus, like the Humphreys, her home life isn't quite as posh as the other teens on the show — even if it's still posher than most other people in America. Is Buffalo the new Brooklyn?
Blair + Bleach + Therapy = Audrey
I see so much of Blair in Audrey, it's absolutely wild. Not only are their mannerisms weirdly identical, but both Audrey and Blair have issues with their fashion designer moms and cheat on their BFs with the sexy but definitely bad for you bad boys in their friend group. One thing that's different? Audrey is a lot more confident in her own skin than Blair ever was. In a different like, Audrey wants to crawl her way to the tippy top of the social hierarchy, but in this world, she's happy just being rich and popular enough. Is she going to a great Upper East Side therapist who helps her own her self worth? Maybe!
Dan + Nate = Obie
Obie thinks he's saving the world by giving out breakfast sandwiches to picketing union workers. Then he goes home to hang out with Uncle Jeff Bezos. (Okay, not literally...or at least, not yet.) Like Nate, Obie somewhat resents his family, and like Dan, he tries to rise above the BS at Constance Billiard — and ultimately, like both of them, Obie is not really making as big of an impact as he thinks he is with his life choices.
Chuck Bass - Bow Ties = Max
Thank God Max and Chuck were not in the same high school class, because one can only imagines the havoc they would cause. Max has all the things that Chuck has: Daddy issues, too much money, and unlimited access to all the drug dealers in Manhattan. As for the idea that Max is just pansexual Chuck...let's remember that Chuck has kissed boys before, and liked it. It's in the text.
Georgina + Blair = Monet & Luna
Thus far, Monet and Luna are the Greek chorus of Gossip Girl — perpetually scheming and moving the plot forward. We don't know too much yet about their personal lives, but they both have killer fashion sensibilities and the urge to maintain social order — very Blair of them. Plus, like Georgina, they're not afraid to say whatever is on their minds — even if the words are beyond cutting.
Images: HBO Max